The 100th British Championship - a modest proposal

I see on the Forum that Reuben Stewpot is asking for suggestions for special events, to be held at next year's 100th British Championship. His stated objectives for such events include "everybody connected with the event enjoy themselves as much as possible", "the event attract publicity for chess, the sponsors and Torquay", and "the event makes a surplus of income over expenditure". Ever keen to assist the Egregious Chess Federation, I have a sure-fire winner.

I suggest an afternoon of dwarf-throwing, from the top of the Riviera Centre. Places as throwers would be auctioned off to the highest bidder. I am confident that, with the right volunteer missile, one could easily raise enough money to finance the British Championships for the next 100 years, as well as generating much publicity for "chess, the sponsors and Torquay". As for "everybody enjoying themselves as much as possible", I think that goes without saying...

"Of course, if Icarus had consulted me initially..."